Improving Your Relationships

Key Concepts and Excerpts From “The Ah Ha’s of Effective Relationships”

“Value the different interaction styles, respect the needs of each style, work for open communication, and success will occur.” – John Myers and Gerald Prince

“The Ah Ha’s of Effective Relationships” explores how SOCIAL STYLE and Versatility can help anyone to be more effective in every area of life. The book follows protagonist Alex Boden through a series of eye-opening experiences that change the way he thinks about relationships and success. Alex’s “Ah Ha” moments help him to become more effective at work and at home, all the while exploring the key concepts of Style and Versatility in a straightforward and relevant way. Following are key concepts and excerpts from the “The Ah Ha’s of Effective Relationships,” now available as a paperback book ($16.95) or Kindle ebook ($9.99) on Amazon.

“Discovering that everyone wasn’t just like me was a real ‘Ah Ha.’ It caught my attention!” Graham laughed. “Some people make decisions slowly and need a lot of information. Some people rely on the relationships they have with others in order to make decisions. Some people are quick-paced, as you and I are, and they make decisions using their intuition.”

Alex’s mind was filled with questions. Were there better ways to be more productive than he had been in the past? Were there more effective ways to work with people than his way? Didn’t other people speak out about what they thought? Didn’t other people want results first? Weren’t all people like him and wanted to be treated the same way that he wanted to be treated? Did the members of his staff feel that they could offer suggestions and share their thoughts or did they feel intimidated by him?

As Alex begins his journey with the help of a hand-picked group of personal mentors, he quickly discovers that not everyone thinks exactly as he does. The pieces of the puzzle become clear as he learns to recognize four distinct styles of interaction in others, but he still has a long way to go to understand how the pieces fit together. Key concepts from Alex’s early experiences include:

  • Understanding what makes people different is the first step in working more effectively with others.
  • When managed properly, individual differences can result in synergy and enhanced productivity.
  • Preferred interaction styles make it easier to work with some people and more challenging to work with others.
  • Objectively recognizing behaviors is the key to determining someone’s preferred style of interaction.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever get the hang of this. Do I have to change with each person I meet?” Alex asked with a frown.

“The answer is that you have to know yourself and to be aware not to treat others as you want to be treated. The secret is to treat them as they want to be treated,” Derek replied.

“I want everyone to act like me. The way I do things makes perfectly good sense to me, and I’ve always thought everyone else viewed the world the same way I do. It’s really an ‘Ah Ha’ for me to discover that others feel that the way they act and think is just as logical to them as my actions and thoughts are to me. There is more than one way to be right; my way isn’t the only right way.” 

As readers follow Alex through his learning experiences, they soon find him having breakthroughs about how to interact more effectively with people of different Styles, while staying true to the productive aspects of his own Style. With his knowledge of SOCIAL STYLE in hand, he begins to dive into the core competencies of Versatility to put his understanding to work. Key concepts from this part of Alex’s journey include:

  • Tension rises when people expect others to think and act the same way they do.
  • Versatile communication benefits everyone involved.
  • Versatility consists of daily behavioral habits, not just a way of thinking.
  • No single Style is inherently better than another. Versatility allows people with different preferred styles to work more effectively together.

Alex begins the story thinking that his new knowledge will only help him in the business world, but by the end he understands that Style awareness and Versatility can help him to be more successful in every area of life. By the final chapter, his new skills lead him to be optimistic about the future and ready to take on new challenges in his career. Key points from Alex’s personal Ah Ha’s include:

  • Relationships are the most important driver of success in life.
  • Tension naturally occurs when people work together, and the key is to manage tension productively.
  • Effective relationships are all about balance. Everyone must benefit for a relationship to be truly effective.
  • Effective relationships are the result of intentional behavior and positive habits.

This has only been a sampling of Alex’s “Ah Ha” moments throughout the story. “The Ah Ha’s of Effective Relationships” contains a wealth of real-world insights that can help readers just as much as the protagonist. You’ll have to read the book for yourself to follow Alex’s full journey and experience your very own “Ah Ha” moments!


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